My Pit

I have been doing a lot of thinking as of late.  My sweet cousin (in-law technically) has been giving me a few gentle reminders of my lack of blogging.  It made me think about a few things one of which was WHY I have not been blogging.  See, I kept coming up with excuses like, time, nothing of real interest, etc, etc.  But the more I thought about it the more I realized that I am not any busier then I was a year or two ago.  We have the same kinds of things going on as we did a year or two ago.  If any thing things are getting more exciting!  So then I started telling myself I had to do blog entries in an "order"  like a timeline.  I know better then that as well so that one didn't really hold water either.  So as I have kept this mulling around in the back of my mind I finally realized that it all came down to me.  It came down to this pit I have put myself in.  It is one of those pits that you get in that you start to climb out, get almost to the top and fall back down.  Sometimes you don't realize how close to the top you are and give up.  Sometimes someone else comes along and pushes you back in.  Sometimes you just loose your grip and fall.  But it seems that much deeper every time you end up at the bottom.  Sometimes you have a hard time starting the climb all over again.
Well, I have to say I hope I have learned my lesson.  I have a choice.  I the choice to stay in that pit or to get myself out.  I had a whole bunch of tools to help me get out of that pit.  Sometimes I used them and sometimes I left them sitting at the bottom telling myself I didn't need them.  They were too hard to take with me.  I didn't have the time to worry about silly tools.  I even had a sweet husband trying to throw me a rope to help pull me out and I pushed that away at times.  I was so upset about being in my pit that I was ignoring all of the things that I had to help me get out.
Well, I would like to say that I will never be in that pit I was in.  But I can't.  I'm sure I'll end up there again.  I just hope that I remember my tools a little faster next time.  I hope I never forget my blog and how therapeutic it is for me.  I hope I never forget my scriptures and the inspiration that I am able to receive when I read.  I hope I never forget my prayers and the connection to my Father in Heaven that I have when I communicate with Him each day.  I hope I never forget my amazing husband and wonderful children and the joy they bring into my life.  (I'll be honest everyday isn't bliss and it is some of those hard times of my kids making me want to tare my hair out that puts me in that pit in the first place...keeping it real!)  I hope I never forget the gospel and the peace that brings into my life.
So I may not be perfect and I will slip and fall but I will get up again and I will keep trying.